What is "normal"?

Yesterday--

I held him in the back of the car while Clay drove us to the ER

His little body twitching and jerking.
there was vomiting.

By the time we reached the ER we were hopeful that the worst was over.
We were wrong.

It is maddening to go into the ER and try to get someones attention through the Plexiglas....
Clay is holding jack who is rigid. Vomiting. And it appears as if everyone is moving in slow motion.

I won't lie to you --This was as bad as Clay has ever seen--and that is saying ALOT
I felt utterly useless except to answer questions, sign papers
AND I felt completely compelled to make sure that I had a hand on him the whole time.
Amidst all the tubes and wires and medical paraphernalia-- I foolishly thought that if I had MY flesh touch HIS flesh it would somehow help......

after we were released we came home and watched him sleep
(the meds gratefully conk him out)

and then we go about the business of getting back to normal
(have a drink, get some food, wander about the house to do "things")
what is NORMAL?
When at any moment you can be holding a small child in your arms who is twitching and jerking- racing to the ER........
is "normal" the opposite?
of course, we are hyper vigilant right now....
so that flavors our "normal"

any thoughts?

No rest for the weary..........

I MEANT to do a blog about being Thankful and grateful at Thanksgiving.
THEN at Christmas --one about what true giving means
and YET AGAIN --at New Years--one of reflection.

See where I am going with this?
Haven't had any time for such luxuries as blogging.......there are children to take care of (including a trip to Oaklands Children's Hospital for two days of testing)a house to keep up (in since june--and no, we aren't all unpacked), errands to run, a job to go to .....
and most importantly--a family to be a part of.

I used to be online alot.
ALOT.

but that was when I lived in a real crappy house with a man who I didn't want to be married to let alone spend "quality time" with....
and so I self medicated with oodles of blogging and online chit chat .....

so here is to 2011.
whatever it may hold.
hopefully I can keep up on this blasted--uhhhhhhhhhhhhh BLESSED? --blog.